Finding Joy in the Hard Seasons of Teaching
Let’s talk joy in the hard seasons. Anytime I am faced with uncertainty, I struggle, in BIG ways. So you can imagine how much my little world was rocked with a global pandemic. Cue extreme anxiety. But that’s a story for another day, because it’s a long one. Let’s just say it’s one of those stories where I went for a few days at a time without brushing my teeth or combing my hair. If you know, you know!
But instead of taking you on that ride today, let’s skip to the end of that story, because the end is where I learned an extremely powerful lesson during a hard season: joy, true joy, is found only through showing up to each piece of life, authentically. Thanks life, for that mic drop. But wow. In the moments where we can’t always choose the situation or outcome, we can choose how we show up. We can choose to focus on the things that we do, the people that we are around, the thoughts we marinate on, and how those things ultimately produce the feelings we want to feel and we can choose to focus our attention on those things. For me, letting go of perfection and showing up authentically allowed me to begin to find my joy even in the hard season. It allowed me the ability to create the space to focus on the thoughts and actions that made me feel - well, joyful.
But let’s talk about what this looks like for us in teaching. How do we find joy in the hard seasons of teaching? For some of you, this may be a piece of cake. For others, it has seasons where it’s easy and seasons where it’s difficult. If you have ever gone for days, weeks, or months without feeling joy in this profession, you are not alone. If you have ever questioned your choice to become an educator, totally normal. If you have ever wished that a weekend would last forever, you are not a bad teacher. While these feelings are completely valid and absolutely authentic to many of us, how can we choose not to live in these feelings and allow them to control our outcomes every single day or week. When the going gets tough, how can we actively look for our authentic joy in the classroom even when it seems hopeless? In my years of education, I have found three major things to be sources that lead me back to joy when all seems lost:
1. Tap into a Community
In the words of my friend, Dr. Jody Carrington, we are 100% wired for connection. Do not allow the excuse of a pandemic to have you drifting into complete and utter isolation. While I know social media can have its shortcomings, if it’s used in the right way, it can also be a great place to find your people, find your connection, feel uplifted, valued, supported, heard. But a lesson that I have learned the hard way: The only community that is going to benefit you is an honest one. If you are in a community where you feel like you have to show up as an altered version of yourself to be accepted, or you are constantly trying to measure up to standards that are not realistic to you, see yourself politely out the door. Or in terms of Instagram, there is this thing called an unfollow button for a reason.
I feel like I am 100% becoming my mother when I say: You are who you hang out with. But I mean…come on now! It’s the truth. When I am struggling to find joy, I have to be extremely mindful of who I am around, but even more so, the feelings that I feel when I am around them. This community that you surround yourself with - that is something you get to choose. So choose one who challenges you, absolutely. But challenges you to bring your best and most importantly, your authentic self to the table.
2. Give yourself a cheat day
Diet. When I even hear that word I immediately grimace. Anyone else? BUT…while this is not a talk about weight or a number on a scale, for me personally, what I eat has a direct impact on my mood. I hate that for me. Truly. But I won’t waste your time with my complaints. I will say that while I understand what I need to eat to feel my best, I love me some sweets y’all. Jeni’s Ice Cream just came out with this whole birthday concoction, and my mouth just watered even typing about my new weakness. So while I can’t indulge in these gifts from Heaven every day, I do give myself a cheat day once a week. And let me tell you, my heart just skipped a beat thinking about it coming up on Saturday. I literally think about this cheat day every single day of the week. It truly keeps me motivated and focused to do what I need to do to show up as my best self. When I want to give in, I remind myself that while it’s only Monday (ay-yi-yi)….Saturday is coming. It’s a total mood booster when I am in my weakest moments.
So what on earth does this have to do with finding joy in our classrooms? Give yourself a dang cheat day folks! What is the one thing that makes you the happiest? Is it a specific type of instruction, a lesson, a dance party, specific content? I find my biggest joy in the classroom when I not only focus on what I teach but HOW I teach it. That’s what brings my instruction to life. What makes your heart skip a beat when it comes to teaching? Then find a way to make that happen, once a week, on the same day – so on those days where you feel like you can’t go on – you can remind yourself that your cheat day is coming. Joy is just around the corner.
3. Look for the best in others
The more you look for something, the more you will find it. We’ve all heard it, but there’s a difference between hearing it, saying it, being mindful of it, and actually taking action to do it. When I am struggling to find joy in my own little world, sometimes it’s nice to take a break from my space and look for the good in others. I don’t know how or why, but every time I begin actively looking for the good in others, and then actually seeking out ways to let others know about that good, the reward is inevitably joy. Joy for me AND for someone else. Sounds easy, right? Nope. I ask myself often why I get out of the habit of looking for the good in others, and if I am being honest, it’s because human nature kicks in and I become so consumed with myself and my own problems. It’s something I must choose to be mindful of each and every day.
So how can we actively put this into play in our school buildings? How can we create the habit of looking for the good in others? I challenge you (AND ME) to figure out what this looks like for you. Is it three people a week? Three texts? A note to your admin? A piece of encouragement to someone you don’t see eye to eye with. (Real Talk: Listen, you don’t always have to agree with someone to respect them. If you can look for the good in these individuals in your life, it will be a piece of cake to spot in others. Speaking from experience here.) It doesn’t have to look fancy or even be well thought out. While the exact actions may not be clear just yet, one thing I do know to be true, we are only as strong as our community. So let’s uplift one another. Everyone, and I do mean everyone, has good just waiting to be noticed and celebrated - and the celebration sprinkles a little joy on you, too.
Ok. I know it’s difficult guys. I know the hard seasons can sometimes seem never ending. But I truly believe the joy is waiting for us to find it, even during our most difficult and trying times. Go actively looking for it, and I bet you’ll begin to find it, even in the smallest forms, just around the corner.
